Turning Life’s Challenges into Teachable Moments To Empower Our Children

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Navigating Life’s Lessons: A Parenting Journey

Hey there, fellow Brilliant Parents! You know, every day seems to throw us into unexpected lessons, doesn’t it? Well, let me share a little story from my own parenting journey that happened during our school run – a time when lessons come at you faster than you can say “homework!”

Lesson on the School Run: Handling Unexpected Emotions

Picture this: I’m cruising along, minding my own business, when suddenly, I find myself at a roundabout with a blue car behind me and a red car zipping around in front. Now, being the careful driver I am, I come to a stop at the demarcation line, ensuring it’s safe to proceed. Nothing out of the ordinary, right? Wrong!

The lady in the blue car behind me seems to have taken offence to my cautious approach. She throws her hands up in frustration and lays on the horn, sending a cacophony of beeps into the air. Talk about a teaching moment!

Turning Frustration into a Teachable Moment

Instead of getting flustered, I saw this as an opportunity to teach my son a valuable lesson. I explained to him what was happening – how the lady behind us was displaying anger and frustration, likely due to her own issues that had nothing to do with us. This led us into a discussion about different types of problems – the ones we solve, the ones we accept, and the ones that aren’t ours to deal with.

Empowering Our Children with Emotional Awareness

As we talked it through, my son made a profound observation: “Mummy, sometimes people try to give you their emotions, even if you don’t want them.” And you know what? He’s absolutely right. As parents, it’s our job to shield our children from unnecessary negativity while also teaching them to take accountability only for their own actions.

Taking Accountability and Setting Boundaries

So, I took a moment to reflect on my own actions. Maybe my cautious driving triggered the lady’s frustration, but that’s on her, not me. Perhaps I can learn to check my rear view mirror a bit more when stopping at roundabouts, so I can grow too.

However, there is no universe where I choose to drive into oncoming traffic at a roundabout, so I am happy with my choice. I’ve taken my accountability by thinking how I could do better in future, and I’ve left it at that. I learned a small lesson but my son has learned a huge one – the difference between problems we can help with and those we can’t.

Empowering Our Children with Problem-Solving Skills

As our discussion continued, I delved deeper into the concept of problem-solving with my son. I explained that just like in a video game where you need to choose the right tool for each challenge, in life, we need to assess the types of problems we encounter and respond accordingly. So, I introduced him to the idea of using a “shields up” approach as a way to protect ourselves from taking on burdens that aren’t ours to bear. He made me smile when he likened likening emotions to “dog poo” that we need to shield ourselves from. Shields Up! he exclaims from the back of the car giggling at metaphorical dog poo splattering everywhere.

Identifying Three Types of Problems

Together, we explored the three types of problems:

1. Problems We Can Help With and Should: These are the challenges that directly involve us or where our assistance is genuinely needed. Whether it’s helping a friend with a new skill such as tying their shoelace or riding their bike to the art of actively listening when someone going through a tough time, these are the problems we embrace and tackle head-on.

2. Problems We Can Help With, but Are None of Our Business: Sometimes, we may come across issues that we have the skills to address, but they’re not our responsibility. It could be a disagreement between friends or a family matter that doesn’t directly involve us. In these situations, we can offer support and guidance if asked, but ultimately, it’s up to the individuals involved to resolve the issue.

3. Problems We Should Not Help With as We Aren’t Equipped To: Finally, there are problems that are simply beyond our abilities or expertise to solve. These could be complex issues requiring adult help or even professional help or situations where intervening could do more harm than good. By recognising our limitations and knowing when to step back, we protect ourselves and others from unnecessary stress and conflict.

Empowering Our Children to Set Boundaries

As I explained these concepts to my son, I could see the gears turning in his head. It was a lightbulb moment for him – the realisation that not all problems are meant for us to solve, and that’s perfectly okay. By teaching him to have “shields up” and discern between the different types of problems, I’m equipping him with valuable life skills that will serve him well in the future.

In the end, my son walked away with a newfound understanding of emotional accountability – knowing when to shield himself from the emotions that aren’t his to carry.

So, fellow parents, next time you find yourself navigating the chaos of the school run (or any other daily hurdle), remember to turn it into a teaching lesson.

One Liners To Help Your Child

For those wanting to teach their children this lesson, use these simple one-liners to impart some wisdom to your little ones:

1. “Not all problems are ours to solve.”
2. “Sometimes, people try to give us their emotions, but we choose whether to accept them.”
3. “Dog poo emotions require a shield – it’s okay to protect yourself with a Shields Up!”

If you want more detailed help with creating your brilliant child, then find out more about family coaching below.

 

 

Until Next Time On Creating Brilliant Kids

And there you have it, folks! Another day, another opportunity to turn life’s curveballs into teachable moments. Until next time, keep cruising through the chaos with grace and a dash of parental wisdom!

Let’s continue to have these important conversations with our children. By empowering them with problem-solving skills, emotional awareness, and the ability to set boundaries, we’re nurturing resilient and empathetic individuals who can navigate life’s challenges with confidence and compassion.

The beauty of parenting lies in turning every moment, even the frustrating ones, into opportunities for growth and learning and avoiding being triggered by those moments ourselves. Here’s to Creating Brilliant Kids – one lesson at a time – empowering our children and Creating Brilliant Futures together!

My husband did have a response to this article, which can be found on Papapreneur.co.uk but here is the video version for you