Navigating workplace dynamics can be as tricky as finding a matching sock in a laundry basket. Is your colleague genuinely offering helpful feedback, or are they just being critical?

Let’s dive into a methodical brain-based decision-making approach to figure it out. We often talk about the different area of the brain that aid us in decision making and here are some of the main ones and how using them can help you decide what this work colleague is really up to.

S – Safety Crew (Amygdala and Prefrontal Cortex)

Start by acknowledging any immediate emotional reactions. The Safety Crew is like your internal drama detector, alerting you to perceived threats. If you find yourself ready to unleash your inner diva, take a step back. Criticism can feel personal, especially when you’ve poured your heart into your work. To tackle these feelings, break them down into manageable parts. If you’re tackling fears alone, my book Slap Fear In The Face is a great companion. Alternatively, a coaching session can help address beliefs holding you back from pursuing the path your heart truly desires.

O – Opportunity Scouts (Ventral Striatum and Prefrontal Cortex)

Engage the Opportunity Scouts by exploring the potential benefits of the feedback. Criticism can expose you to new ideas and opportunities for growth—like finding a hidden gem in a thrift store. Seek inspiration from professional development resources or connect with colleagues who have successfully navigated similar situations. Use this insight to create a vision board of career growth, visualising how constructive feedback can enhance your skills and professional journey. Remember, even the toughest feedback can be a blessing in disguise.

L – Logic Crew (Dorsolateral Prefrontal Cortex)

Activate the Logic Crew by objectively assessing the feedback. Think of them as your personal detectives, separating valuable feedback from irrelevant criticism.

Consider these clues:

Signs of Constructive Feedback:
1. Specific suggestions for improvement.
2. Focus on behaviour or outcomes, not personal attributes.
3. Delivered in a private or respectful setting.

Signs of Criticism:
1. Vague or generalised negative comments.
2. Personal attacks or insults.
3. Public or humiliating delivery.

It is very obvious when someone is clearly looking for a mistake in your work. If this is the case, you will know but you need to recognise when someone is showing you their true colours.

Reflect on whether the feedback is meant to help you improve or if it’s just a bad hair day for your colleague. Understanding the source and intention of criticism is crucial in determining its value.

V – Value Hunters (Medial Prefrontal Cortex)

Reflect on your core values and how they align with the feedback. Criticism can be your ticket to self-improvement if it resonates with your personal goals and values. If you feel disconnected from your authentic self, consider our 30, 60, or 90-day Be Authentic challenge, also available as a course for a more flexible approach. After all, staying true to yourself is the ultimate goal.

E – Emotion Regulators (Limbic System, including Amygdala and Hippocampus)

When emotions run high, consider flipping a coin to decide whether to address the feedback immediately or take time to process it. Pay attention to your feelings during this moment. Are you secretly hoping for one outcome over the other, or disappointed with what it lands on? This can reveal your true desires. For those moments when you need a little extra support, our Coping with Change challenge is available, and if you prefer, it can also be taken as a course. It’s like a warm hug for your emotions.

I – Issue Resolvers (Anterior Cingulate Cortex)

When you’re unsure about feedback, talking it over with a friend, partner, or trusted mentor can provide clarity. If those options don’t feel right, reaching out to a coach might be the way to go. After all, if you are struggling at work, there are many ways to become more productive and show that you have taken that feedback on board. I offer tailored coaching sessions that can help you navigate these waters, whether it’s through one-on-one sessions, group coaching, or specialised courses.

T – Trend Trailblazers (Orbitofrontal Cortex, Right Temporal Lobe, and Insula)

Visualise the impact of addressing the feedback constructively. If it’s valuable, imagine the professional growth and improved relationships that could result. If it’s merely criticism, envision the relief and empowerment from addressing it assertively. This exercise engages the Trend Trailblazers to help you see which response aligns with your professional vision. Embracing constructive criticism can speed up your progress in life, highlighting the importance of seeking out and valuing feedback from knowledgeable sources.

Conclusion

By systematically engaging each of these brain areas, you can discern whether your colleague’s comments are criticism or valuable feedback. This methodical approach ensures your response aligns with your values and professional goals, leading to more effective communication and growth.